Long delay...

Sorry for the delay everyone, if there is anyone reading this. It has been 4 months since I was last on here. I just have been going through so much, my life just hasn't been very stable, very balanced.

Do you remember of the guy I used to blog about non-stop on here? Limar? Well me and him are...(tears)... now broken-up, we broke-up on 3/22/09. Yeah I know, I talked about going on for years and years to come, that we were going to get married, that he was my everything. I mean I still feel that way about him, my love for him hasn't changed one bit ;; I still love him with all my heart, I still want to marry him. I just can't stop crying, I miss my baby so much. Everynight I lay in my bed looking at the ceiling and than I start to cry. I cry out his name hoping he will hear me, hoping that maybe when I wake up he will be right there next to me, but when I do he isn't there. The only place I get to see him, feel him, kiss him, hug him, is in my dreams. The memories just replay in my dreams, I hate having to wake up. Reality used to be something special to me, now I hate it ;; Why can't I stay in my dreams forever... Where I can be with the man of my dreams forever?

I was counting his letters not to long ago, the letters he used to mail me, hand me, surprise me with... guess how many i got? Over 50 letters, Will no one! I mean no one take them away from me! These are things that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Everytime I read a letter over again, I can hear him reading it back to me, I can feel him right there next to me, hold him ;; whispering in my ear his words that just shot me straight up into the heavens.

Hopefully god holds a good future for us, for me and him. I really want him back. That's my baby for life! I will wait for him if I have too, if it means years of waiting!